Posted on May 22, 2012 at 2:23 am
Real Big News
| CRAIG Big News! My savior has arrived! My intuition’s never been so strong! Big News! My career has been revived – All I needed was a snippy, pissy Yankee all along! Take this superstitious city, add one little Jew from Brooklyn Plus a college education and a mousy little wife, And Big News! Real Big News! That poor sucker saved my life!So give him fangs, give him horns, Give him scaly, hairy palms! Have him droolin’ out the corner of his mouth! He’s a master of disguise! Check those bug-out creepy eyes! Sure, that fella’s here to rape the whole damned South! They’ll be bangin’ down my door, Yellin’ “More, Craig, More!” “Call for Justice! We need Justice! Beat the Bastard! Kill the Bum!” Big News! Real Big News! My savior has finally come!According to reports obtained exclusively by this reporter, Prosecutor Dorsey has the villain in his sights. A highly-ranking unnamed source in this investigation tells me Mr. Leo Frank is now the solitary suspect. Anyone with any information on the suspect, Leo Frank, Should contact this reporter care of the Atlanta Georgian.MAN I saw this little kid – Said, “Look what Leo did!” And then she run and hid…CRAIG Go on, go on, go on, go on now!PRETTY GIRL He sat down next to me – His hand went on my knee – I had to shake it free! REPORTERS |
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| A MAN I say it idn’t fair! I saw his books, I swear – That man’s a millionaire!REPORTERS Go on, go on, go on, go on now! (Oo, oo, oo)A MAN He has a kid, you know – Knocked up some student so He paid to make her go I know it, yes, I seen it, yes!ENSEMBLE I know it, yes, I seen it, yes! I know it, yes, I seen it, yes! |
A WOMAN He likes ‘em young and small! Got nekkid pictures all Pinned to his office wall!A MAN My brother says he knows Wherever Leo goes He carries Mary’s clothes! I know it, yes, I seen it, yes!REPORTERS Go on, go on, go on, go on now! Go on, go on, go on, go on now! |
A PSYCHIATRIST I’ve watched him for a while Behind that creepy smile – The classic pedophile! I know it, yes, I seen it, yes! |
| CRAIG Look! You just scribble it down and it covers the town like molasses or mud! Look! For us drunken ol’ bums, opportunity comes in a magical flood! Look! You might never be sure if your motives are pure, but your profits are clear! Look! You were down and depressed, now you’re ridin’ the crest of the scoop of the year!DORSEY Jim Conley. I got a piece of paper here says you spent a little time on the chain gang.CONLEY That right?DORSEY Twice, according to this. Drunk and disorderly behavior.CONLEY Well, I tend to over-celebrate holidays.DORSEY And the second time it says here you were out with the road gang and you just up and disappeared. CONLEY DORSEY CONLEY DORSEY CONLEY |
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| Accordin’ to reports obtained ex- Clusively by this reporter, Mr. Leo Frank has been in- Dicted on the charge of murder! Prosecutor Dorsey states the Trial will begin in the Atlanta County Courthouse Only one month from today! Mrs. Frank, the Suspect’s wife, Has still not spoken to reporters! What’s the word from Mrs. Frank? What’s the word from Mrs. Frank? Mrs. Frank! Mrs. Frank!LUCILLE Let me alone! Please! Let me alone! |
REPORTERS AND ENSEMBLE Extra! Extra! Leo Frank indicted! Trial set for a month from now! Prosecutor Dorsey will Try the case himself, he says! Luther Rosser will represent Mr. Frank in the fight of his life! Dorsey promises surprise witnesses And a quick finish! Mrs. Frank, the Suspect’s wife, Has still not spoken to reporters! What’s the word from Mrs. Frank? What’s the word from Mrs. Frank? Mrs. Frank! Mrs. Frank! |
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