Posted on December 7, 2013 at 8:49 pm

Hey Kendra

EDDIE
1, 2, 3, here we go…

Music starts, classic bedroom-style soul.  MALCOLM and EDDIE sing to an imaginary Kendra.

MALCOLM and EDDIE
Hey Kendra…

BRETT(spoken, to an imaginary Kendra)
Hey, Kendra.

MALCOLM and EDDIE
I been thinkin’…

BRETT
I’ve been thinking.

MALCOLM and EDDIE
I gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta get wit’choo.

BRETT
So true.

MALCOLM and EDDIE
I wanna get all up in yo’ bidness, girl.

BRETT
…bidness…

MALCOLM and EDDIE
And make you feel real fine.

BRETT
Real fine, not fake fine.

EDDIE and MALCOLM
Hey Kendra!

BRETT
Hey Kendra.

EDDIE and MALCOLM
Come closer.

BRETT
Much closer.

EDDIE and MALCOLM
I got myself a brand new rocking horse…

BRETT
…rocking horse.

(to EDDIE and MALCOLM) 

Wait. What?

EDDIE and MALCOLM
Why don’t you climb up here, mama?

EDDIE (spanking himself as HE sings)
And rock it, rock it all night long!

BRETT
Okay, stop!  Rocking horse? Yeah, not gonna work.

EDDIE
Yeah, so gonna work. It’s double edge…

MALCOLM and EDDIE
…smoooooooth.

BRETT
Guys, Kendra’s a “good girl.” I do that, I’ll never get the tongue!

EDDIE (seeing LUCY and KENDRA approaching)
Incoming!  Kendra, three o’clock…

EDDIE
1, 2, 3, get shizzy…

BRETT
Kendra, there’s something I wanna ask you…

EDDIE and MALCOLM
Hey Kendra!

BRETT (suddenly he’s Barry White) 
Hey Kendra.

EDDIE and MALCOLM
I’ve been thinking…

BRETT
I’ve been thinking.

ALL THREE
I wanna spend a little special time with you.

KENDRA
Aw…

ALL THREE
I wanna take you to a movie, girl.

BRETT
Friday night.

EDDIE and MALCOLM
Down at the mall.

KENDRA
It’s perfect!

LUCY (interrupting) 
No no no no no!
You can’t go to the movies on Friday night!

EDDIE and MALCOLM
No, no, she can’t do it.

LUCY
I said she can’t go!

EDDIE and MALCOLM
Uh-uh, No way.

LUCY
‘Cause you already committed to do that thing!

KENDRA (mystified)
What thing?

LUCY
That thing!

KENDRA
What thing?

LUCY
That thing you said you would do on Friday!

KENDRA
There is no thing!

LUCY
Yes, there is, Kendra!

KENDRA
I’m going to the movies Friday night with Brett!

LUCY
No you’re not!  Don’t contradict me in public, Kendra!
We’ll talk about this later!

KENDRA
FINE!

An awkward pause. The GIRLS smile at the BOYS.

BRETT, MALCOLM & EDDIE
Hey Kendra…
I’m begging…

MALCOLM 
Please come to the movies on Friday…

BRETT executes a fancy move on the word “Please”.

KENDRA
Sure I’ll come!

LUCY (grabbing her and dragging her offstage)
We so have to talk!

LUCY and KENDRA exit.

BRETT, MALCOLM & EDDIE (high five)
Oo, baby, we so goooood.

EDDIE
You gonna get all up in her bidness, yo!