Posted on January 6, 2015 at 5:46 pm

Betsy’s Getting Married/The Game

BETSY
Betsy’s getting married!
Yes-sirree it’s true.
Finally, Jack got it through his
Head.
Betsy’s getting married,
Long past overdue!
Thirty-one years of ‘holding tight’
And crossing my fingers every night
You better believe I’m wearing
White
‘Cause Betsy’s getting wed.
Betsy’s getting married,
Call my college gang!
Even though they gave me up for dead.
Betsy’s getting married –
Get me Vera Wnag!
Thirty-one years I climbed that
Hill,
Seventeen years I’m on the pill,
Lisa Levine’s on J-Date still,
But Betsy’s getting wed!
Ooh, Ooh, Isn’t he smart and sweet
And Dreamy?
Ooh, Ooh, don’t I wish mom and dad
Could see me?
Ooh, Ooh, all of these wannabes
Wanna be me!
It might be luck, it might be fate,
But whatever it is, it was worth
The wait

BETSY/MEN
Ooh, Ooh, who is that princess
Wearing Prada?
Ooh, Ooh, who is the toast of all Nevada?
Ooh, Ooh, who’s gonna get the whole
Enchilada?

BETSY
He’ll be mind and I’ll be his –
It took forever but here it is!

MEN
Betsy’s getting married.
Get that girl a drink!
Send that couple breakfast in their bed!

BETSY
Thirty-one years I knot my brow
Wondering when and who and how.
Well, baby I hit the jack now
‘Cause Betsy’s getting wed!

SHOWGIRLS
Eight of Diamonds
Night of Diamonds
Ten of Diamonds
Jack of Diamonds…
Queen of Diamonds.

JACK
Keep your hands steady
Keep your head clear
Thank the Lord above you’ve got a

JACK/SHOWGIRLS
Straight flush.

JACK
Keep your voice level
Keep your cars near
Don’t yell “holy shit, I’ve got a

JACK/SHOWGIRLS
Straight flush!”

JACK
Once in your life, you get a
Hand like this
Get a completely unbeatable
Hand like this
And it’s like God came and
Gave you a little kiss
And said, “Go forth and
Multiply.”

Once in your life, you get a
Hand like this
And though tonight might be
All about wedded bliss,
Today will be all about
Making a run like Attila the Hun,
Vanquishing everything under
The sun,
Plundering, pillaging, having
Some fun,
And I’m gonna be rich
Because, son of a bitch,
I’ve got a

JACK/SHOWGIRLS
Straight flush!

JACK/SHOWGIRLS
Straight flush!

JACK/SHOWGIRLS
Straight flush!

BETSY
Betsy’s getting married.
There’s no turning back.
Betsy better not have been misled.
Betsy’s getting married.
Where the hell is Jack?
Maybe he needed time to think.
Maybe he had to call his shrink.
Maybe I need another drink…

DOUGIE/JOANNE/CHAN ELVIS/ENSEMBLE
Eight of Diamonds
Nine of Diamonds
Ten of Diamonds
Jack of Diamonds…
Queen of Diamonds.

JACK/DOUGIE/JOANNE/CHAN ELVIS/ENSEMBLE
Straight flush to the Queen!

TOMMY
Wow. This is really one for the books, kid.

DOUGIE/JOANNE/CHAN ELVIS/ENSEMBLE
Nine of Clubs
Ten of Clubs
Jack of Clubs
Queen of Clubs…
King of Clubs!

TOMMY
Straight flush to the King!

Sorry, kid, you’re out fifty-eight grand.