Posted on February 5, 2014 at 9:12 pm

Mr. Hopalong Heartbreak

SISSY
So I rode the damn bull,
So I had a few drinks –
What’s the shouting about?

Where’s the logic in this?
You’ve been sleepin’ around,
Now you’re kickin’ me out!

So you’re cuttin’ me loose,
Put this baby in gear,
Give the motor some gas.

Well, you’d know what your losin’
If you took your head out of your ass!

So long, farewell, Mr. Hopalong Heartbreak,
Thanks for the kicks, but I guess we’re through.
Oh well, it’s been fun hitchin’ up with a psycho like you.
Nice work, good job, Miss Perpetual Heartache.
Hey! Welcome back! Ain’t you glad you’re here?
You picked a freak twice as crazy as the freaks
You had rejected as too crazy last year.

Oh I picked a doozy.
He’s a piece of work,
I shoulda worked it out before.
I been sittin’ here hopin’
That door would re-open,
But I ain’t gonna wait no more.

So long, farewell, Mr. Hopalong Heartbreak.
Kiss all the girls and you make them cry –
Ta-ta, adios, thanks a lot, eat shit, and
Goodbye.

(Sissy heads away from the trailer, hitchhiking up the road)

Lord, but I worked and I waited.
If that ain’t tryin’, I don’t know what tryin’ is.
If there ever was a body that fit with mine,
I know in my bones it was his.

Lord, but it feels like I’m burnin’.
I ain’t hurt like this since I don’t know when,
And worse than the pain of losin’ that man
Is the fact that I screwed up again!

(Sissy enters Gilley’s carrying her armful of clothes)

Mr. Riggity-Righteous!
Mr. Tiggity-Tough!
Mr. Nobody-Could-Ever-Be Good-Enough!
Mr. Piggity-Perfect!
Mr. Friggity-Free!
Mr. Holier-than-thou-could-ever-hope-to-be!
Mr. Uppity-Uptight!
Mr. Striggity-Strong!
Mr. Long-as-you’re-right,-everyone-else-must-be-wrong!
Mr. Got-no-patience!
Mr. Cut-no-slack!
Well, Mister, watch this butt,
’cause I ain’t turnin’ back!

(The bull rotates into view. Wes is oiling it.)

So long, farewell, Mr. Hopalong Heartbreak,
Some other girls like to sit and cry.
Not me, nosirree, I got loads of other roads
To try!

(Wes stops working, approaches Sissy, and takes her “baggage” from her. The bull keeps going and Wes rides off with it leaving Sissy alone on stage.)

So long, Mr. Buddy!
So long, Mr. Pal!
So long from your dedicated, dominated gal!
So long, Mr. Hopalong Heartbreak!
Goodbye!