Posted on December 7, 2013 at 11:06 pm

It Can’t Be True

LUCY
Everything Charlotte says is a lie.
It’s a lie, it’s a lie, it’s a lie.
Everything Charlotte says is a lie,
You better not believe her.
‘Cause she says she saw Kendra and Evan at the mall,
Standing face to face…
Laughing and talking and holding hands
And slurping all the way to
First base!
But everything Charlotte says is a lie,
You better not believe her!

MOLLY
No way!  Kendra and Evan?

LUCY
Yep.

MOLLY
But what about Brett?

LUCY
I know, it’s crazy!  But really, really, really, don’t say anything!

MOLLY
Of course not!  I won’t say a word.

THEY both hang up, and THEY both immediately dial or text
other numbers.  CHARLOTTE and CASSIE pick up their phones. 

CHARLOTTE & CASSIE
Y’ello?

MOLLY
Cassie?

LUCY
Charlotte!

CASSIE & CHARLOTTE
Yo.

MOLLY
Everything Charlotte says is a lie.

LUCY
Everything Molly says is a lie.

BOTH
It’s a lie, it’s a lie, it’s a lie.

MOLLY
Everything Charlotte says is a lie…

LUCY
Everything Molly says is a lie,

BOTH
You better not believe her!

MOLLY
‘Cause I just heard that

BOTH
She said she saw
Kendra and Evan

MOLLY
On their bikes
Having a little race.

LUCY
Molly saw Kendra in the park
Letting Evan get to second base!

MOLLY
But everything Charlotte says is a lie!

BOTH
You better not believe her!

CASSIE, CHARLOTTE  & MOLLY
Holy Mack-a-roly, oh, it can’t be true!
No, you can’t repeat a single word I’m telling you!
And oh, can you imagine what Brett would do
If he heard that kind of a rumor?

Three tableaux: MOLLY is talking to RICHIE; CASSIE is talking to SIMON; CHARLOTTE is talking to MALCOLM and EDDIE.

MOLLY
Everything Cassie says is a lie…

CHARLOTTE
Everything Molly says is a lie…

CASSIE
Everything Charlotte says is…

ALL THREE
It’s a lie, it’s a lie, it’s a lie!

MOLLY
Making up stories, I don’t know why.

ALL THREE
You better not believe her!

CASSIE
So don’t say nothing

CHARLOTTE
But she just told me

MOLLY
She said she saw

ALL THREE
Kendra and Evan at the game,
Then they vanished without a trace.

ALL THREE
Then she saw Kendra under the bleachers
Lettin’ Evan get to
Third base!

ALL SEVEN
Holy mack-a-roly, oh, it can’t be true!
There’s an awful lot of trouble they could get in to!
And oh, can you imagine what Brett would do
If he heard that kind of a rumor?

Focus shifts to the other side of the stage, where EDDIE and MALCOLM are confronting BRETT, while MOLLY, CHARLOTTE, CASSIE, SIMON and RICHIE watch.

EDDIE
Everything Kendra says is a lie!
It’s a lie!  It’s a lie!  It’s a lie!

MALCOLM
Doin’ the tongue with some other guy!
You better believe it!

ALL
‘Cause he said she saw
She said she saw
She said he saw

Kendra and Evan at the mall
Kendra and Evan at the park
Kendra and Evan at the lake
Kendra and Evan at the movies
Kendra and Evan at the zoo

LUCY (running in)
And I just saw them
Right now!