Posted on March 4, 2012 at 8:44 am

So I had this friend. An old girlfriend, actually, who is now (I swear this is true) a Christian missionary who serves mostly in Thailand. And last night she posted, as her Facebook status, a statement supporting Kirk Cameron and his ignorant, hateful anti-gay, anti-gay-marriage rhetoric. It’s not all that surprising, I guess – she’s a Christian missionary, after all – but I hadn’t seen her post stuff like that before.

I don’t want to see that shit come up on my news feed, honestly, and really, I don’t need to be friends with anyone who, forty-some years into this life, is still so blind and closed-minded. (I find such moral absolutism particularly ludicrous in the context of what she and I were doing on prom night in 1987.) But before I “unfriended” her, which was a sad and unsatisfying way to close a relationship that’s lasted for over a quarter-century, I wrote a comment on her page, and I’m going to post it here because I’m glad I said it and I want to be able to remind myself that I said something that mattered to me tonight.

I appreciate that you live your beliefs, Jen, and I know you to be a very kind and sincere person, but this truth you claim to live by is a cruel truth. Homosexuality won’t stop because you tell people they can’t get married. Men will still love other men, women will still love other women. When they can marry, the way you and your husband could marry, then their children can be part of the community they live in, they can be legally responsible for each other, and they can help their community grow because they are supported and accepted for who they are. And you will not be hurt by their marriage. No part of your life will suffer for two people who love each other being able to claim that legal status. When you talk about your “evil desires” or equate loving someone of the same gender with “killing someone or stealing something,” you don’t do your cause any favors. Love wins, Jen; surely Jesus would agree with that. If you were told you could not practice your faith, you could not share your beliefs with someone else in public, you would do it anyway, because you are who you are and you feel what you feel in your heart. Remember, if you can, that you are not the only person who believes strongly in something, and that your faith is far from the only faith. I wish you only the best.